Often when we feel pain or discomfort, we want to get rid of it as quickly as possible. It doesn't feel good, so we want it gone. The tendency is quickly to suppress, numb or distract pain.
However, in this we ignore the message of pain. Pain is a signal. A sign that something is bothering you, that there is something that needs to be released in order to function properly again.
In other words, the pain is not the problem, it is the symptom of the 'problem'. The messenger, so to speak.
But of course we don't want to experience pain for an unnecessarily long time. How can you deal with your pain in such a way that it goes away quickly but also does not ignore the real cause of the pain?
The answer to this lies in an apparent paradox; The more you want the pain to go away, the more it increases. The more you accept the pain, the faster the pain goes away.
You can work with it as follows;
As soon as you feel pain, sit or lie down somewhere calmly. However unnatural this may feel at first, focus all the way to the pain. Try to look at it without judgment or rejection and feel it. Where is it? How does it feel? Sharp, throbbing, burning, stabbing, dull? Where in your body do you feel it the most? What thoughts and emotions do you feel about it?
Really work like a researcher. Observe your body and your feelings without wanting to change anything. And if you are distracted for a moment, for example by thoughts, you simply return your focus to the painful spot.
It's simply about feeling, staying present with what you feel, and relaxing in it. You will notice that you feel increasingly 'deeper', more detailed and more nuanced. Experiencing pain turns into perceiving information, and this information tells you where resistance and tension lie.
This also works this way with emotional pain. With sadness, fear, anger, stress, etc. you also feel this in your body. The knot in your stomach, the lump in your throat, a full head, the burden on your shoulders. When you are emotional it is often difficult to get out of your head. We often let ourselves be guided by 'the story', that which has triggered us, making us feel that particular emotion(s) so intensely. We are more inclined to repeat the story in our heads, to analyze, understand, frame, place and find a solution to something we experience as a problem. Especially then it is good to get out of your head and go to your body, to feel where there is tension. By going around in circles in your mind, repeating the story over and over, you also keep repeating the emotion. This is actually stressful, it causes increasing stress in your system.
By focusing on the feeling instead of 'the story', you become more aware of the tension in your system, which you can release. Even if you relax just a little, you will notice something changes. The story is still the same, the way you experience it is different. The more you relax in yourself, your head and your body, the more you can relax in external situations. The more relaxed you are, the more positive your mindset and attitude becomes. You look at 'the problem' with different eyes, see things from a more loving perspective and can more easily come up with solutions and find ways to deal with something, in a way that improves the situation instead of worsening it.
You will notice that this loving undivided attention for your emotions and feelings makes you feel more aware of what is needed. And where you can release tension. You will notice that you don't even have to think about it very much. Your system already understands this. By nature, balance is sought everywhere. Also in your system. And your feeling indicates whether you are in or out of balance. Out of balance feels unpleasant, and in balance feels nice. That simple. Every time you do this exercise you will notice that you naturally relax, have the reflex of deep sighing (discharging) and can increasingly experience how pain and stress fade away.
In summary, the solution to pain does not lie in suppressing, numbing or distracting from the unpleasant, but in accepting the pain and applying the necessary self-care.
Pain just wants to be felt. The message just wants to be heard.
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